John Peter Sloan

Dear John,
What should a man in love with another man do in order to tell their families about  their relationship, but without being rejected by them?
My family knows my partner and they love him, but I don’t know whether they’ll put up with our coming out of the closet, out of the blue. I’m preparing to break the news to them, and I think I’m doing it right, but I really need some advice.
Anderson

First of all, let me express my admiration for your courage and sincerity. I would do this: tell them that you have good news for them. Sit them down together and ask them a question. Tell them them that this is the most important question you have ever asked. Then ask them: “Do you love me?” When they say “Yes,”  ask another question: “So, do you want me to be happy?” When they say “Yes,” say: ”Then I have good news for you, I AM happy with *** (name).” Then tell them that you are going to need them more than ever and that you really appreciate the fact that, with ***’s and their love, you don’t need anybody else. Tell them you feel really lucky.  
P.S. Keep us posted!

Dear John,
I’m an English teacher in Turin and I recently started dating a pretty young student (breaking the rules, I know!) Anyway, sometimes I get the feeling that she is just using me for free English lessons because all we do is talk! Advice, please!
Kevin

Don’t worry about it, as soon as she passes her English exam, you won’t see her again.
P.S. What rules?!

Dear John,
I am worried because my new girlfriend wants to sleep at my house, but I have an embarrassing problem: I snore. What can I do?
Aldo

Put on an Iron Maiden live CD and leave it on all night at maximum volume!