Speakers: Mark Worden (Standard British accent), Chuck Rolando (Standard American accent)

Light Bulb Jokes

This month we introduce a genre that is popular in the English-speaking world, the light bulb joke:

Q: How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: one to change it and two to argue about how old the old one is.

Q: How many tourists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six: one to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.

Q: How many pessi­mists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: it’s a waste of time because the new bulb probably won’t work either.

Q: How many proofreaders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Proofreaders aren’t supposed to change light bulbs. They should just query
them.

Q: How many Christian fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: The Bible doesn’t mention light bulbs!

Q: How many polite, considerate native New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Both of them.

Q: How many Beverly Hills residents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: they have a service that comes in and does that.

Q: How many public opinion researchers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: With what degree of certainty do you need to know?

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: ONLY ONE!!!

And finally...
Q: How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I don’t know, but I can look it up for you.